Lonely, loner. Not anymore. Finally I have connected, no longer feeling like being permanently behind an invisible wall. For the first time in my life I can really understand an other being and most importantly, he understands me. And he belongs to me. He doesn’t mind my quirkiness and doesn’t expect me to be anything but me. He seems to like my permanently ‘bitchy’ face and kisses it a lot. His big brown eyes look into mine and I don’t mind it, actually it makes me feel that he really sees me. He enjoys long walks in the past and curling up on the sofa with me just the same. Nighttime cuddles, tiny snores and morning kisses never felt so good. Because of him I had to move which was stressful but well worth it. he had to have surgery on his leg which worried me a great deal and we aren’t out of the woods yet. He taught me to care about an other and to put his needs first. He taught me that vulnerability isn’t a bad thing. He is teaching my how to assert boundaries and how to take it slow with others. But perhaps most importantly he is the best company I’ve ever had. (Apologies to my friends, it’s not personal, you know me.) I had a horrible dream last night that I lost him. I was running up and down on a beach, crying, loosing my voice at shouting;Max!!! To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. But I woke up and here he was pushing his wet nose into the palm of my hand. No he doesn’t have a cold his nose is always wet. Max is a dog. More accurately he is a 14 months old 3kg, super smart and very fit Chihuahua puppy. The love of my life.
I have never in a million years imagined ever to like ney, own a small dog. But when my friend went on holiday, she asked me to babysit his year and a half old Chihuahua boy Bertie. We had a fun 10 days together and I came to appreciate what a special breed Chi is. Bertie is adorably affectionate, easy going, happy and relaxed. I have known him since he was a tiny 4 months old so we go back a way. When my friend came back from vacation she and her man came to my flat to pick Bertie up. She suggested that we look on the local paper’s website to see if we can find me a Chi. I hear myself saying “it’s a great idea”. So luck would have it, one was listed just 4 minutes earlier. I sent a text to the advertiser’s mobile phone and he called me back in minutes. My friends and I piled into the car and drove over to the next town. I hardly had any time to think it over. Little did I know then that my life would change so much, for the better.
Max came to me at 5 months old. He lived in a two bedroom, third floor flat above a kebab shop near the town. The 100 year old terraced building, so popular in England, has very steep, narrow steps. Max never learned to walk on stairs. As a matter of fact he hardly ever walked as hi was used to being pushed around town in a pram, like a baby. Max also had to deal with a full house of two chubby and not too bright children and a pair substance abuser grownups. They had hardly any teeth, smelled bad, looked worse. Plus an older, white, male, very placid Chihuahua a huge African Grey Parrot and two large but affectionate Staffordshire Bull Terriers. Full house to say the least. Little wonder Max spent his days under the sofa. He was timid, and cautious and at times somewhat aggressive towards people. (He still bites if he is approached while being held and gets real angry when someone reaches out towards him a bit too quickly…bites as in draw blood…the vicious beast But we’re working on it. Puppy traumas can last a lifetime.) – It was love at first sight. He crawled out from under the sofa and into my lap as I sat crosslegged on the floor. I paid the £250 cash, got his papers and we hightailed out of there.
A week later he got castrated (better for their health) and his wonky baby tooth removed by the vet who declared him to be a lovely, strappy chappy. The nurses at the vet surgery fell in love with him too. He can be absolutely adorable when he feels safe. Little did we know that they will get real close soon. – Max had to have a surgery a few weeks later. He had developed Legg Calve Perthes Disease on his left hind leg (cause unknown~) which is the necrosis of the head of the femur bone. The vet removed the head and neck of the afflicted bone. – Max, my little trooper, took it in his stride though, He was up, walking (limping) about the next day! Max became the Pet Of The Month in July 2014. (I was very proud of him and a little of myself for being prudent enough to take out pet insurance.)
Just so “when it rains it pours”. The agency managing the house where I rented, gave me a letter to “rehome my dog” as it’s a pet free house! (It’s a 60s extension to the back of a Victoria terrace that had been converted to three flats. An old, leaking, poorly maintained building with a leaking ceiling. All my own furniture, I renovated the flat myself at my own expense 4 years previous. I paid rent on time and all bills too. I put up with the parties of four guys in their early 20s upstairs and cleaned to communal areas just because. The agent Pride ‘N’ Property owner has an Autistic son so in theory she should have a little sympathy…but no!) – “Rehome” my Max?! It made me so angry, I gave her the four week notice immediately. Without knowing where we’ll go. I still do not know for fact why she really wanted Max out or the both of us? Suspect it was greed. She now charges a much higher rent from the new tenants but the roof is still leaking.
My friend, Bertie’s ‘mum’ came to my rescue. She told me her sister had a maisonette coming vacant. It’s in a really good location in the same town Max grew up in and has a little garden too. We’ve been here since October (2014). There is a beautiful, large park nearby with dick ponds, squirrels and lots of other dogs for Max to play with. He is so happy here and so am I. The seaside is only 10 minutes walk away so Max can chase the Seagulls in the summer.
The only sadness is that Max’ limp came back and according to the X ray the bone has grown back (this happens so rarely that the vet only had to deal with it once in his 25 years practice.) My lovely little friend might need another surgery soon. He is in good hands though and he is a brave boy. I wish I was too but I am scared and worried as all surgeries carry inherent risks. The thing is that Max is so young and Chis live to 18. I hope my little dog won’t have to spend his life on three legs.
He is such a lively, alert, intelligent little dog. He is sitting on my lap as I’m typing this (with one hand as he hogs the other) He is watching my fingers move on the keyboard and puts his paws on it to ‘help’. (incredibly cute) Max watches TV with attention and gets worked up a bit when he sees the Meerkats advert and absolutely hates Winnie the Fox’s biscuit Panda. Max gets protective during programmes about animals, he stands between the TV and me and growls. It’s funny. He was house trained within days, learned to sit on hand signal (turn around on a circling finger and chew sticks stand no chance no matter the size.
Max has changed me. I smile a lot more because I feel like smiling and not because I have to. He often makes me laugh out loud, previously a very rare occurrence. I feel connected in a way I never thought possible. I feel loved, understood and needed. Come whatever may I feel I can now handle just about anything.
‘Thanks little buddy!’ I am so lucky to have you!
I can really relate to this.
+ Cheer up luv!
Grrrrrr ! ( “I was quite happy till you said that you insensitive moron!”)
If You Do One Good Thing Today: https://act.autism.org.uk/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=10&ea.campaign.id=28911&ea.tracking.id=ENewsletter
Recognising Asperger’s syndrome in adults.
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